Why Your Family Wants Your Story, Even If You Think It’s Ordinary
In the last couple of years, I’ve noticed myself often comparing my life with others I’ve read about or seen on social media. It can seem as though everyone else has more dramatic and extraordinary stories to tell or photos to share. I imagine this may be a common experience in today’s hyperconnected world. I want to push back on that feeling, which many of us can likely relate to, and suggest that your life story may feel ordinary to you but could be deeply meaningful to someone else. In the end, we may be underestimating what our close friends and family members actually value.
Let’s start by reframing what an “ordinary” life is. Ordinary lives still contain wisdom, perspective, and unique histories. Our family members are not necessarily looking for drama, although that can certainly be exciting. More often, they are looking for understanding and meaning. In other words, everyday details create emotional connections and memories that can be held, remembered, and shared with the next generation. Your loved ones want to know the way you lived, the values you carried, the routines you kept, and the choices you made.
Here are three clear reasons why your family wants to remember your story:
Stories create continuity – When you share your memories and perspective, you help your children and grandchildren understand where they come from. This can be more impactful than we sometimes realize.
Stories preserve values – This is your opportunity to share the lessons you’ve learned, the habits and beliefs you hold, and your way of seeing the world. Your loved ones may carry that wisdom with them for years to come.
Stories make people feel closer – Storytelling is an under-appreciated skill, especially in today’s world. Your stories offer personality, voice, and texture that facts alone cannot.
Sometimes it is the most mundane or familiar story that your loved ones remember most. You do not need major historical events or a cinematic narrative for your story to matter. Many times, it is the small moments that carry meaning. Think about your favorite family ritual, how you met your spouse, what your home felt like, or what your career taught you. Here is one simple place to begin: sit for a few minutes and try to answer this question:
What part of your life would help your family understand you more fully?