Can’t Remember Everything? 7 Ways to Bring Old Memories Back to Mind
The dreaded blank page. All writers know that feeling: sitting down to start a project and staring at a completely empty page, hoping inspiration or a novel idea will magically strike. When we’re asked to recall and write about our memories, many people experience a similar feeling. In this blog post, I would like to reframe that struggle and suggest a manageable approach. I’ve noticed that retrieving decades of experiences and memories tend to be easier when we attempt to access them indirectly, through people, places, senses, and routines. More often than none, the memories are still there; we just haven’t found the right method to bring them back to mind. Let’s take a minute to explore some useful approaches that might help.
Look through old photographs. This is usually an excellent and easy way to start jogging old memories. Don’t just ask, “Who’s in this picture?” I encourage you to go deeper by looking at the clothing people are wearing or the furniture in the background. What happened immediately before or after this photo was taken? Can you add nuance or context to what is shown in the photo? This allows us to tell a much larger and more complete story about why this moment was, and probably still is, important to you.
Listen to music from an earlier part of your life. Being a huge fan of music, this is one of my favorite tips. Music was such an important part of my life when I was younger, and it still is today. Songs can bring back specific people and places. They can also help you remember old relationships and distinctive stages of your life. Think back to when you were in high school, starting college, or beginning your first job. Which bands or musicians were playing on the radio? Did you have a favorite album that you played on repeat? Without dating myself too much, I can’t honestly describe my late teenage years or early twenties without acknowledging the influence of bands like Radiohead or my endless listening to Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits.
Use smells and tastes. This trick is another one of my favorites. Sensory memories can be surprisingly powerful and evocative. The list of examples is almost endless, but here are a few places to start: an old perfume worn by your mother, your grandfather’s go-to recipe, freshly ground coffee, special holiday foods, or fresh-cut grass. When you have the chance, let yourself experience these smells and tastes and see what happens. You might be astonished by how quickly old memories begin coming back to you.
Return to familiar places. Depending on your physical capabilities or financial means, this could be more challenging for some. That said, returning to familiar places doesn’t have to require cross-country travel or expensive plane flights. You might be able to visit an old neighborhood or workplace. Nowadays, we can also use technology like Google Maps Street View or social media to explore a childhood vacation spot or elementary school. No matter how you do it, places can help reconstruct the context around a memory or stage of life.
Pick up a meaningful object. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had a box of emotionally significant objects or trinkets stored away in a closet or garage. Take a moment to open it up and rediscover what you or your loved ones have decided to save. This might include a piece of jewelry, old recipe cards, aged letters, childhood toys, or souvenirs from a family vacation. As you look over these objects, I encourage you to ask yourself questions such as, “Where did this come from?” “Who gave this to me?” or “Why did I keep this?”
Talk to someone who remembers that time. This socially engaged approach can be helpful in two ways. First, it can inspire you to reach out to people in your life you haven’t heard from in years; think of former coworkers, childhood friends, or extended family members. Second, it may lead to conversations and reflections that bring back forgotten details or memories. Remember that their stories do not need to match yours exactly, since the purpose is not to establish some perfect historical record. You might find that the passing of time has allowed your friends and family to feel more comfortable sharing their perspectives and opinions. It’s also a great way to reconnect!
Think in periods of life rather than exact dates. With today’s obsession with more data, accuracy, and perfection, it can be hard to allow yourself not to be exact. However, I would recommend trying to reflect on general life stages or periods instead of a specific date. For example, don’t ask yourself what happened in 1974; try completing statements such as, “When my children were small…” or “My first apartment was…” This will hopefully remove some of the pressure to build a perfect chronology or genealogical record.
In the end, you don’t need to remember everything in order to write something meaningful. One photograph, song, place, conversation, or familiar object may be enough to open the door to a much larger story. Give yourself permission to follow wherever that memory leads. Sometimes, one small detail is all it takes to begin.